PRO Tip 2: Maintain Your Bike

Everyone hates you.  You get a flat every single ride.  People know you by your chain squeak.  You put so much lube on your chain that not only do you spray the poor sod behind you with grease, it looks like a beaver got stuck in your drive-train.  The "tick, tick, tick" of your chain as it sits between cogs.  Everyone hates you.  Your mechanical issues plague every group ride.  Your lack of maintenance leads to crashes in the field sprint.  Don't be a hazard and annoyance to everyone around you.  Just maintain your bike.  If you want it to treat you well, you have to treat it well.